March 2025 - 🌊

spring, sprang, sprung forward shall we?

It is the third month of the year, a time of change in the seasons, the light, the clocks moving backwards but also springing us forward.

A little morning ritual that I have done every morning for almost 8 years, is pulling a tarot card. I shuffle my deck for a minute and a half exactly, I pull it, I write what card it is down, I forget it till the next morning. The next day I’ll mentally review how the day prior was, jot some notes down, significant happenings and thenI repeat the above ritual and move on. The cards don’t ever dictate how my day is going to go or how I am going to feel about the hours I will live ahead. What it does for me the following day is allow me a point of reflection.

A card that I have pulled multiple times this month is the Six of Swords.

The Six of Swords is a card about change. It indicates that it is time to move towards smoother sailing (how fitting). The water is rippling with the energy of discord. It’s asking you one big question:

What are you ready to leave behind, even if you are not sure where it will take you?

The landscape looks bland and undefined. A blank canvas you might look at and think nothing of. It is often natural for you to feel hesitant when entering the unknown but sometimes you know that change is needed and you just have to do it balls to the wall whole ass not half ass into it. The time as the cards are saying, time and time again is now.

I have written down “everyone who loves you deserves your best self.” and I wish that for all of you. The road to this is of course is always easier said than done.

That leads me to the biggest thought that has taken up my brain space this month.
What the fuck am I doing with my life and where am I going.

I have often thought about my life in ERAS *cue Taylor Swift* but in not just eras as in blocks of time like your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s but more eras in the sense that they are courses or stages of a Dinner Party. The movement and timing from one verse or chorus to the next, from appetizer to entree. Ok Stace chill with the metaphors.

but let’s dig in (pun intended).

Ok here we go, if you looked at your life like a dinner party I think that it would go something like this:

20’s - arguably the most bing bong time. You are scattered you are brainstorming ideas, calling friends to see if they are free, trying to find the right date, the location, writing list after list of prep you need to do to make the night happen. Do you have taper candles? you do? but do you have candle holders?
Do you have a wine opener? Can you steal one from a bar near by? How many place settings does a 20 year old need to have? (During my early 20’s I think my roommate at the time Patrick and I only had 5 and change. They were all utensils we had stolen from SCAFÉ better known as the cafeteria at the Savannah College of Art and Design). You are kinda there, but not really, you are figuring it out.

30’s - The date is set, the invitations are out. Its the day of the event and you are setting it up. You are out buying flowers, making sure there is a candle to burn or matches to strike in the bathroom in case of *~ smells ~*. The menu has come together ish, there will be a few fires (real and metaphorical) to put out. You know exactly who to text to “just bring ice”. You are in a state of limbo really. You aren’t young enough to bing bong but not old enough to really feel like you have it all together. Wild that some of our parents had us during this stage of life or earlier no? You are there, but not really, you are in fact still figuring it out.

40’s - At the age of 37? 36? myself (I turn 37 in September). I don’t have first hand experience of what this decade will be but I can tell you what I hope it will be. I hope that my guests have arrived, the music is at the perfect volume (I curated the playlist duh), the lighting is just right. I did have the taper candles and just the right amount of candle holders. The food is ready from apps to dessert, the sink is filled to the brim with ice ready to chill any bottles of wine my guest will bring as a hostess gift and a pie is cool. We are ready to feast.
You are there, people you love are there, you might still be figuring it out but your sense of self thats pretty locked in, short comings, strengths all of it.

Whether or not any of this means anything, is a good train of thought or is a bunch of bullshit I tell myself to sleep better at night. I’ll take comfort in knowing that I will spend the last few years of my 30’s in dinner party prep and that soon, maybe sooner than later.

I’ll feast.

more pie next month, this month, just thinkin’

xoxo

Stacey